Wait. What?

I tightened my grip on the notebook paper and reread the sentence: “Then my parents told us that we were moving- to Bentonville, Arkansas.”

No, no, no!

I kept reading Michaela’s letter, feeling numb inside.

After the fifth read through, the knowledge that my best friend would be moving hours away finally sunk in. I clutched her letter in my hand, laid down on my side, and started to sob.

I couldn’t imagine my life without Michaela. I couldn’t imagine how on earth we would survive a long distance friendship!

As the days and weeks leading up to Michaela’s move passed, the sadness didn’t lessen at all. Then the day came when I had to give her a hug goodbye and come to terms with the fact that I didn’t know exactly when I’d see her next. 9 hours apart seemed like too much.

If you’re experiencing a long distance friendship too, then keep reading :) In this post I’m going to be sharing what Michaela and I discovered about long distance friendships and how we kept our friendship strong- despite the distance between us.

How To Survive A Long Distance Friendship

Prepare Beforehand For The Move

A while back, I wrote an entire post about how to prepare for your best friend’s move. If you or your best friend is in the process of moving, that post might be helpful for you. :)

With that being said, the rest of this post is a list of things you can do after your friend has moved.

Before we dive into the tips-

Would you rather watch a video or listen to a podcast than read this post?

Michaela and I did a Facebook Live video a while back sharing our best long distance friendship tips! If you would like to watch it, you can do so below :)

You may need to click on the speaker on the video to turn on the sound.

If not- Keep reading ;)

Figure Out How You Will Be Communicating

A few weeks after Michaela left Texas, I got a thick envelope in the mail. Immediately upon seeing the “Arkansas” stamp next to the stamp, I ripped open the envelope and pulled out a packet of papers. She had written me a very long letter, detailing the entire move and sharing her first impressions of her new neighborhood.

I immediately pulled out a few pieces of notebook paper and penned my reply.

Letter-writing had always been a hobby Michaela and I had enjoyed. We had written letters even when we lived five minutes away from each other so it was just natural to keep writing them now that she lived far away.

However, letter-writing wasn’t the only way we kept in touch.

We also sent emails back and forth, messaged each other on Webkinz (remember that? Lol!), and called each other on the phone.

Eventually, when we got cell phones, we started texting back and forth. Now, we tend to use the app Marco Polo to keep in touch and we also FaceTime from time to time.

How you and your friend could stay in touch:

• Letters
• Phone Calls
• FaceTime/ Skype
• Texting
• Messaging on Social Media
  • SnapChat
  • Instagram DMs
  • Facebook Messenger
• Marco Polo

Plan When You Will See Each Other

When Michaela lived in Arkansas, we planned week-long visits to see each other. The first summer after her move, she came back to Texas and stayed with me for a week. The next summer, I went to Arkansas and stayed with her for a week.

There were also a few times in between there when either her family came back to Texas to visit their extended family and so we were able to meet up for a day, or when my family was driving north to go on vacation and made a pitstop in Arkansas to visit her.

Almost exactly 2 years after Michaela moved to Arkansas, her family moved back to Texas. Now Michaela was in a town only 2.5 hours away from me! Now that we were so close, we were able to see each other a bit more often because the drive wasn’t so far.

A few years after that, her family moved again. Now we were only 45 minutes apart! Yay!

Once Michaela and I got our drivers licenses, we were able to plan meetups more easily. Before, we had to rely on our parents to take us to see each other.

Today, Michaela is going to college in a town about 2 hours away from me. There have been several weekends this semester that I’ve been able to drive down to see her. Or, whenever she’s back at her parent’s house, we meet up there or in a town that’s about halfway in between us.

Over the years, we discovered that it is very helpful to know when we were going to see each other next.

Even if the next time we’d be able to meet up was a few months away, it was helpful to know so we could look forward to it!

Tips for you:

• Plan your next meet up with your friend! Know when you’re next going to see her.
• Find a meetup spot halfway in between you that you could both visit on a regular basis.

Do Projects Together!

These are fun ideas for all friendships, but it especially worked out nicely for Michaela and me in our long distance friendship.

Shortly after she moved, we compiled a time capsule of our friendship together. We did this by mailing things back and forth and then we eventually put it all together when we were with each other one time.

Also while she was in Arkansas, we started working on a little skit together. I mailed her the script and we both worked on memorizing our lines and then practiced them together over the phone. This was just for fun and we never ended up performing for anyone, but it was lots of fun!

Ideas for fun projects: 

• Time Capsule
• Memorize a skit together
• Write a story together
• Make a scrapbook of all of your memories.
  • Send pictures back and forth to each other, or each make a few pages and then compile it when you see each other.
  • Or, each make a scrapbook for your friend.
  •  Or, one friend likes scrapbooking more than the other, she could make a scrapbook for the other friend.
  • Another option would be to make a Chatbook with pictures of your friendship!

These are the things Michaela and I have done to keep our friendship going despite the distance.

This summer is our 15-year “friendiversary.” Nine of those fifteen years we were long distance. :)

Have you ever had a long distance friendship? What helped you and your friend stay close?

Disclaimer: I have had other long distance friendships eventually fizzle out. I know this can happen and I know how hard it can be. :( 

From contrasting those friendships with the one I have with Michaela, I think the reason why Michaela and I were able to stay friends despite the distance is that we both wanted to stay friends.

Both of us worked at the relationship and both of us took initiative to plan hangouts, took turns calling each other first, emailed the other if we hadn’t heard from them in a while, etc.

I’m not saying Michaela and my friendship has been all sunshine and roses. There was about a two year period when we were in high school when we didn’t talk at all.

When it comes to you and your friend, you both have to work at it and make time for it. You have to both communicate and prioritize your friendship. Really, that’s true for any lasting relationship! And hopefully, this post will give you some ideas of how you can do that! :)

Posted by Kara Beth & filed under Friendship. This post has 4 comments.