Caleb and I got engaged on October 24th :)
I knew it was coming soon because we had bought a ring together about a month before he proposed. Today I want to write about our ring shopping experience.
In July 2019, I asked Caleb not to propose until he was 100% positive I would say yes. I didn’t want to not feel ready for engagement and have to tell him no. He agreed and said we could go ring shopping together beforehand.
I’m so glad he said that, because one of my other fears about engagement is that I wouldn’t love the ring he got me.
For the next several months, I wondered how I would know I was ready for engagement.
You see, I knew I wanted to marry Caleb and I have known that for a while. But I didn’t know when I would be ready to actually commit. How would we know when the timing was right? Would there be a paper airplane sent from Heaven with the words “You’re ready” on it?
Ironically, it wasn’t until the Coronavirus pandemic hit and we had to shelter-in-place that I realized I wanted to marry him. I wished I could be living with him instead of my roommate (and I LOVE living with my roommate).
One night in April, I had a horrible dream that we got married and then he ditched me that night, saying that he didn’t want to be married to me anymore. That dream really freaked me out and I thought about it all day. Finally, I couldn’t stand it anymore and I had to text him about the dream. He reassured me that he’d never leave me like that and I replied with “I don’t want you to leave me at all!”
And at that moment, through the tears, I realized I was 95% positive I was ready.
I still needed to discuss birth control with him, as I don’t want to ever take hormonal birth control and I needed him to be on board with that decision. After that conversation, I knew I was 100% ready to marry him and get engaged.
So then I debated- Do I tell him I’m ready? Do I wait for him to bring it up?
Finally, after much prayer and discussion with a close friend, I decided I should tell him. After all, guys aren’t mind readers. So one night in July, a year after I had asked him to wait until I was ready, I mentally prepared myself for the conversation.
However, there was a whole Covid fiasco that happened that I don’t really want to write about here… and then my mom and I went to South Dakota to see my cousin… needless to say, I didn’t tell him I was ready in July.
Mom and I returned from our trip and in service for school started a week later. Our theme for in service this year was Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (I teach at a Christian school).
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Our principal talked about how each person at our school has an important role to play and without everyone doing their part, this school wouldn’t function. But most importantly, tying us all together is God.
The Friday after in service, Caleb and I drove to my grandparent’s house for dinner and so he could help my grandma fix her printer.
When we got back to Caleb’s house, we stood outside my car and I told him, “I just want you to know, since you can’t read my mind, that when you’re ready to ask I’m ready to say yes.”
I was completely expecting him to be like, “Great thanks!” and then need some more time to think about it.
Instead, he said, “Alright, we can go ring shopping soon if you’d like!”
We decided that I would look on Pinterest for ring ideas.
I downloaded Pinterest onto my phone once I got back to my apartment. I scrolled through my old “wedding” Pinterest boards to see what rings I had previously liked.
Then I closed my phone and started drifting off to sleep. Somewhere in my half-asleep thoughts, my brain mixed our in service devotional with rings I had seen on Pinterest. Suddenly, I was wide awake.
Grabbing my phone, I opened the notes app and quickly typed out what my sleepy brain had dreamed up.
I imagined a ring with three stones, one larger one in the middle, and two smaller ones on either side. I thought maybe the side stones could either be diamonds or emeralds (Caleb and I are both born in May so emeralds are our birthstone). The three stones represent the “cord of three strands” part of Ecclesiastes 4:9-12.
The larger stone would represent God because He is the most important. The smaller ones on the side would represent Caleb and me. The larger one would be in between the two smaller ones, because that’s more aesthetically pleasing but also as a reminder that God should be in the center of our marriage.
When I saw Caleb next, I told him my idea.
I also showed him some pictures of rings similar to it. He liked the idea, but after that conversation, he didn’t bring it back up. So I didn’t bring it back up either.
A whole month went by with the ring conversation essentially dropped. My other grandmother passed away last year and my dad decided to get her rings appraised so we’d know how much they were worth. I mentioned this to Caleb one night and then he said, “Speaking of rings, do you still like that one idea you had?”
“Yes,” I said, “although I keep going back and forth of if the side stones should be diamonds or emeralds.”
Caleb thought for a second, “I think diamonds would look better.”
I nodded and said we should probably look in person.
He agreed.
“When would you like to go look?” I asked.
“We can Thursday?”
Thursday came around and we went to the one jewelry store in our town.
We walked in and told them we were looking for an engagement ring.
“Great!” they said, “What type of ring?”
“A three stone one with a gold band.”
Well, apparently this store didn’t sell gold engagement rings. Great.
So we went back to my apartment and decided to look for jewelry stores in the Austin area for us to go to next week. However, in our search, we found one online at Zales that we both really liked and was exactly what I was envisioning.
We decided to order that ring online.
I absolutely love how we were able to do our ring shopping from my couch- perfect for life during Covid and perfect for two-indecisive people LOL!
So that’s the story of how we chose my engagement ring :)
The next day, I felt insecure about Caleb wanting to marry me. All my shortcomings and failures and sins were running through my mind. I texted him in tears, asking, “Caleb do you really want to marry me?”
“Of course! Do you think I would have bought you a ring if I didn’t? Why do you ask?”
I told him about my insecurities and then sat there thinking about how I’m really unworthy of his love. I’m an imperfect, sinful human (like us all) and it amazes me that he’s choosing to spend the rest of his life with me.
And that got me thinking about God.
God chose to love me too, even though I’m COMPLETELY unworthy of His love.
Jesus died in my place, even though I’m the one who deserves death because I’ve sinned against God.
You and I are unworthy of God’s love and forgiveness, which just makes God all that more wonderful. He loves us despite our sins and He forgives us and wants to be in a relationship with us.
That’s pretty amazing ❤️
