The following is a guest post by one of my dearest friends, Bonnie

Last November, I decided that I desperately needed to take a break from social media. Most especially, I really needed a break from Instagram. I wouldn’t say goodbye to it forever, but just for enough time for me to get away from it mentally, literally and generally.

Social media had become toxic to me. Whenever I think about last semester, I always think of Instagram as being a bad friend to me. I needed to take a break from the toxic friend the site had become to me. Not only that, but my roommate at the time (and author of this blog!) had inspired me with her dedication to fasting from Instagram and her posts about why she deleted hers.

My first attempt at trying to fast from Instagram wasn’t very successful.

A few weeks later, I tried to fast from Instagram again. In one of my journals, I bookmarked a page to track my progress. The page in my notebook said “Days off of…” and below it I listed Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and Twitter. For each day that I didn’t get on one of these sites, I’d mark a tally under the site. Underneath I wrote “times broken” and would write the date and site I broke my fast with and even why I got on.

Let me say, this method of fasting was far more effective than the first! It was a great visual to see my progress and know where I was still falling short.

Before I knew it, “I’ve been off Instagram for 11 days!” turned into 25 days, and then finally 52 days. I had no problem staying off Twitter and Snapchat, and I still got on Facebook almost every day mainly just to check my groups and notifications.

The apps weren’t off my phone, but they were moved into a folder two pages away from the home screen so the temptation wasn’t directly in sight. In total, I ended up fasting from Instagram for about two months.

Now? I don’t tally in a journal or track my progress anymore.

I honestly love my life without Instagram and social media way more than I like my life with it. Weeks go by before I realize I haven’t checked Instagram once, nor do I crave getting on anymore. I still have the app on my phone. I still post pictures once every while. But it’s different now. My whole perspective has changed, and Instagram is far less valuable to me than it once was.

So anyways, this is why I now wait before posting anything.

Five Reasons Why I Wait Before Posting On Social Media

1. By waiting to post, it allows me to process the memories and hold onto them myself before I release them to the world.

A new rule I gave myself is that I don’t want to share something unless I’ve had time to first journal about it, or process it by myself. When my schedule is far too busy to take the time to journal, then I figure I’m far too busy to be spending my time online doing something as trivial as posting a picture.

I want my memories to be my memories before I make them other people’s memories.

I want to write about the awesome night I had before I tell the world how awesome it was. Additionally, I want to write about how much I value my friends before I share about them in captions. A caption can never equate to what is real or capture the moment in a way that I’ll best remember it, which is why I journal.

I get it all out of my system and write about everything, all of the important details and things I want to remember for when I look back on that moment. Then, if I’m still feeling the same way, I’ll share it: not in a ten-page journal’s worth entry, but in a one to two sentence caption.

2. It gives me time to evaluate my motives behind posting.

Before, I used to post things as they happened to me without even thinking about them.

Now, I think about it, pray about it and give it some time (at least a day and sometimes even a week or more) before actually posting about it.

I ask myself, “Why am I wanting to share this? Who is my audience? Do I really want them to know about this thing that happened in my life?”

I consider if I’m oversharing personal information, if I’m posting because I want to brag about something I did or someone I want to show off, or if I’m trying to appear a certain way. Or I’ll ask, am I misrepresenting myself or who my good friends are?

Over last summer, I posted some group pictures with people I was just becoming acquainted with because I liked the idea of being seen with certain people, and I wanted it to come off like I was better friends with them than I was.

Why did I do that?

Now that I think about it, I question why my post had to include people I was barely friends with, with the caption “such a fun night with these awesome friends!” Someone looking at my page would think I had spent all my time with them, but that wasn’t true in the slightest. I didn’t truly know them that well, and they didn’t really know me.

Related: 4 Questions to Ask Before Posting on Social Media

3. It gives me time to tell my close friends the things that happened to me or show them pictures of the event, rather than broadcasting them for everyone to know.

When I used to share about everything I did all the time, everyone freely knew my personal life and exciting events. There was no new information to ask about or exciting personal updates to share in person with someone; it was already all out there.

A few weeks ago when I went to a friend’s wedding, I didn’t share it on social media for a week.

Throughout the week, when people would ask, “How was your weekend?” or “What have you been up to?”, I was able to share about what I did without them already knowing about it first.

One night when I working on homework with my closest guy friend, we got on the subject and he asked, “Woah, you were at her wedding? How do you know her? That’s so cool!”

I got to show him my pictures and talk about the night before I ever posted about them, which was really cool.

By not sharing things right away, I get to share about it in person first with the people I value the most. It makes the moments more special that way. My closest friends get to know what I’ve been up to before everyone else does, and I like having it that way.

4. It helps me rule out what’s important enough to share and what’s better to keep private.

Something I am extremely aware of now more so than before is the dangers of oversharing.

I learned this lesson the hard way.

Last summer, I made these new friends the same day I prayed God would give me Christian friends to hang out with for the summer and for church guidance. I fell head over heels for that church and immersed myself in that college group for the entire summer, but I made a mistake and posted about it multiple times, tagging the church and everything.

Because I shared so much of my private life, it came back to bite me. A guy who had liked me showed up to that church, shortly after I posted about it! He knew I went there because of my Instagram.

Now, I’m extremely cautious about what I share.

I love my church home in college and I almost tagged it in my Easter post, but then I thought about last summer and decided not to share it. No one needs to know where I go to church, and no one needs to know where I’m from and what I’m doing and who I’m with. Why voluntarily give that information away?

Lesson learned: Some things are much, much better kept private.

5. It gives more meaning to the things I do decide to share.

My mom always says, “Not everything is post-worthy.”

I used to post on my story almost every day about random things that don’t mean anything or post about people I was barely friends with just to get likes or attention.

What’s the point of posting just to post?
The other question I always ask now is, why do I care so much what other people think?

The things I wait to post on are now the things that are of more significance. It doesn’t mean the behind the scenes parts of my life are any less important, it just means they’re better off staying in my memories, in my camera roll, and in my journal. Not on my Instagram page for the world to see.

I’m also a lot more picky about who I choose to post about. If I will share a picture with the caption “great friends”, I will only do so if they are, in fact, great friends.

Or sometimes, I won’t share about someone because I want to keep that person more private, more to myself.

I don’t need to brag to the world about who I’m spending my time with or try and show them off in case anyone is watching. I plan on sharing things a lot less, but that only makes the things I do decide to share more meaningful. If it’s worth waiting for to post about, it’s worth sharing.

What about you? Do you ever wait before posting on social media?

Hello! My name is Bonnie and I’m a junior English Education major. In college, I love being a resident assistant and writing tutor as well as other campus involvements! My favorite ways to spend free time is through writing, being with friends and family and growing closer to the Lord.

Read more guest posts by Bonnie.

Posted by Kara Beth & filed under Friendship. This post has 2 comments.