Nothing Is Wrong With You If You Have Never Dated Before

To all my friends who have never dated before, never gone on a date, and/or have never had a guy express interest in you,

You are not a weirdo.

You are not a loser.

Nothing is wrong with you.

Let me repeat that, loud and clear: nothing is wrong with you.

Watch the Video Version of this Post Here

The fact that you’ve never dated doesn’t mean you’re undesirable.

I’m sure you know that, deep down inside of you. You might be rolling your eyes, thinking, “Yeah, yeah, Kara. I know.”

But no! Really! I want to tell you this because when I was single I wished that someone would just sit me down and tell me this. That I was not a weirdo because I had never been asked out.

You see, I had doubts every now and then, wondering if something was wrong with me and maybe that’s why I was single.

The questions whirl-pooled around in my head:

  • Why is no one asking me out?
  • Am I weird?
  • Is there something wrong with me?
  • Is that why I’m single?

There is nothing wrong with you!

You are not weird.

To prove this point, according to the latest Joy Because Grace reader survey, over half of my readers are people who are single and have never dated before. Over half!

So if you are single and have never dated, you certainly are not alone. There are other girls who understand and are there too.

I was asked out for the first time the summer after I turned 20. Before that though, no one had ever asked me out on a date and I felt so alone in that. I knew I had other friends who were single, but I was positive that everyone else had at least been asked out before. I thought I was the only one who no one was interested in.

So if you’ve ever felt that way, I understand.

To all my friends who have never dated before: You are not a weirdo. You are not a loser. Nothing is wrong with you. I promise. Here's why...

If have never dated, nothing is wrong with you.

God has a plan and a purpose for your life! And this plan for you is as unique and as special as you are.

Just think how boring it would be if every single person had the exact same love story! YouTube proposals would be unheard of. Every time you’d ask someone “How did you and your spouse meet?” you’d hear the same answer.

Nothing special.

Nothing unique.

Same old same old.

Each of us has a unique story written by God. Think about how boring the Bible would be if all the stories were the same! If Ruth’s love story was the same as Esther’s. Or if Mary and Joseph’s story was the same as Jacob and Rachel’s.

We love hearing about unique stories… but when it comes to our own story, sometimes we get impatient and wish it could be less special.

Let me repeat: God has a plan for your life.

Maybe that means you’ll date someday. Maybe you’ll be single forever. But the most important relationship that you’ll ever have is between you and Jesus Christ. Pursue that relationship and focus on growing closer to Him.

Now, I don’t want you to think that I’m saying that if you have a perfect relationship with Jesus, then God will give you a boyfriend. That’s simply not the case.

(I could rant about this forever, but I’ve already written a post about how singleness isn’t a punishment for ungodliness, so I’ll just direct you there.)

What I’m trying to say is, your relationship status isn’t the most important thing. Your relationship with Jesus is.

Jesus loves you! Please don’t ever forget that or let that become mundane for you. The Savior and Creator of the world loves you so much!

Friend, you are a part of the greatest love story ever told!

God sent His son down to this earth to die for you and me because He LOVES us. God forgives us of our sins because He LOVES us! We didn’t deserve those things. We are completely undeserving of His love. And yet He loves us and pursues us and wants a relationship with us.

I hope this can be a little burst of encouragement for your day. I hope you’ll remember that you are not a loser or a weirdo, that nothing is wrong with you, and that you’re not alone.

To sum up today’s blog post, I’m going to quote Bob and Larry from VeggieTales: “God made you special and He loves you very much.” <3

I get quite passionate about this topic.
Don’t believe me?
Watch the video version of this post :)

If this post encouraged you, then you’ll love my eBook Single Conversations, available now on Amazon Kindle.

You might also like:

  1. An Open Letter to My Single Girl Friends
  2. Why I’m Thankful for My Singleness {Part 4}
  3. Why I’m Thankful For My Singleness {Part 5}
  4. Why I’m Thankful For My Singleness {Part 6}
  5. Is My Singleness a Punishment from God?

Posted by & filed under Singleness. This post has 4 comments.

4 thoughts on “Nothing Is Wrong With You If You Have Never Dated Before”

  1. Mizzy

    This helps a lot :)
    I’m 18 and a freshman in college, so recently I’ve been really confused because I’ve been reconnecting with some friends at college (I was homeschooled for 9th-12th) and they all have boyfriends now. I felt a bit discouraged, so I decided it would be a good time to recommit my life to God and focus on Him. Literally the day after that I went to a college Bible study and got reacquainted with an old guy friend of mine and we spent the entire time talking about God and our walk as Christians! He drove me home the next week and we talked about Christian relationships the whole way. And yesterday, I forgot my jacket and was cold so he ran to his car to get me his jacket. Better yet, I asked my dad what he thinks of him and my dad says he has a very high opinion of him!
    My advice is to wait. I decided to wait and God (He knows how impatient I am and I think He gave me some extra grace) gave me a Godly guy friend the next day who might eventually ask me out. :)

  2. Emily

    I love your blog! You definitely have a lot of relatable posts that enjoyed reading. And how cool that you’re a Spanish teacher–I’m a Spanish ed major! :-)

Comments are closed.