Placing My Identity on Singleness

Have you ever placed your identity on something other than God? Personally, I have placed my identity on singleness… but I’m getting ahead of myself. ;)

A little more than a year ago, something happened in my life that I had never experienced before: I became someone’s girlfriend.

And as I started processing what this meant and the fact that my boyfriend and I were now dating, I realized it was hard for me to think that I was no longer a “single” single. (“Single” single meaning I was now a “dating” single. Not married, but not entirely single at the same time.)

And then I began to wonder…

“Have I been placing my identity on singleness or on being God’s daughter?”

Let me explain.

I had been single my whole life. Singleness, as much as I sometimes didn’t like it, was comfortable to me. I was used to being single. I was in the singleness-groove, so to speak.

Sometimes though, when I thought about who I was, I thought the following things. “I’m Kara. I’m 20 years old. Single. Studying Spanish education. I like daisies, ducks and Disney. A Christian.”

I think I put more weight in my mind on the fact that I was single than the fact that I was God’s.

I am God’s daughter and I belong to Him.

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! -1 John 3:1 (NIV)

I was comfortable in my singleness despite the fact that often I was discontent with it. And once my boyfriend and I started dating and I had a hard time contemplating that I wasn’t a “single” single anymore, I realized what I had been doing.

I realized that I had been placing my identity on singleness rather than in Jesus.

When I was single, I had been tempted to think that being in a dating relationship was the most important relationship I could be in before getting married. That was a lie. The most important relationship I could be in is a relationship with Jesus.

My identity wouldn’t change when I switched from being single to dating. My identity changed when I switched from being lost to being a child of God.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! -2 Corinthians 5:17

Dear friend, I don’t want the same thing to happen to you.

I don’t want you to have a wake-up call like I did when you start dating. I hope that you choose to recognize your identity in Christ before you start dating, whilst you are still single.

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. -1 Peter 2:9 (NIV)

Singleness is NOT where our identity lies!

In the video below, I share a little bit more of my story and how I struggled with placing my identity on singleness instead of on God. :)

You may need to click the speaker on the video to turn on the sound.

What are your thoughts?

Have you ever thought about the possibility of someone placing their identity on their relationship status (be it single, dating, or married) rather than on Jesus? Have you personally ever done this? Let me know :)

If this post encouraged you, then you’ll love my eBook Single Conversations, available now on Amazon Kindle.  In that eBook, there’s an entire chapter devoted to how singleness doesn’t define us. :) Find out more.

Posted by Kara Beth & filed under Singleness. This post has 2 comments.