Can Singles Have A Happy Ending?

Last week I saw a preview for the upcoming Bachelorette finale in which Hannah (the bachelorette) said “I’ve been waiting my whole life for my happy ending…” referring to her coming engagement.

I disagree with Hannah. I don’t think marriage is my happy ending.

Her statement got me thinking and I want to talk about this. In this post, I’m explaining why I disagree with this viewpoint, but I don’t want to bash Hannah in any way. I think this concept that marriage is the happy ending is perpetuated in our culture and I want to address that. 

You can watch a video version of this post below or scroll down to keep reading. :)

I think lots of girls in our culture would agree with Hannah and view their wedding day as their happy ending.

Maybe the ending of their single lives, yes, but it’s not the end of their lives in general.

I think if you were to point out to these girls that when they marry their lives will continue, they’d say, “Yes of course. I know I’m not going to die the day I get married- Hopefully!”

Yet as single girls, we tend to view our wedding day as a happy ending of sorts.

I think the fairy tales we grew up with perpetuate this idea.

You know, the shoe fit, Cinderella and the Prince got married and lived happily ever after. The prince kissed Sleeping Beauty, she woke up, they got married, and lived happily ever after. The girl kissed the frog, he turned into a prince, they got married, and lived happily ever after.

All of these stories end after the main characters got married. Their story ends there, without an epilogue to tell us what their lives were like after they were married. The story doesn’t tell us if they ever fought over socks left on the floor or dirty dishes in the sink.

So I think it’s only natural that we single girls are tempted to view the wedding day as our happily ever after; we’ve grown up being led to believe this!

I think this idea that the wedding day is the happily ever after can be harmful in many ways.

1. It assumes that the wedding day is the end of your story.

I’ve struggled with thinking of my future wedding day as a happy ending too. But I have to remind myself- my wedding isn’t the end of my story. Rather, it’s the beginning of a new chapter.

The wedding isn’t the end. It’s the beginning!

If you marry someday, your wedding day isn’t the end of your story. It’s the beginning of a new journey, a continuation of what you learned and who you became as a single girl.

You will be doing life with another person. Bringing children into the world. Navigating the joys of parenting and the struggles and joys of marriage.

2. It assumes that marrying is the main purpose of life.

But marrying isn’t the purpose of life. God did not create us to live half-lives until we meet our future husbands and later say “I do.”

Saying that your wedding day is your happy ending insinuates that you have fulfilled your purpose in life. That you are now at the end of your purpose here.

As I stated above, marrying isn’t the end of life but rather the beginning. Marriage isn’t the conclusion of your life’s purpose.

If marrying is your chief desire and goal in life and you think you can’t be happy living forever as a single, you’ll find yourself disappointed with marriage eventually. What if things stop being so “happily ever after” and start becoming mundane?

You have a purpose to fulfill regardless of if you marry or not. I hope and pray that your heart’s desire is to know God, glorify Him in all you do, and make Him known to others.

That is your purpose in life, not marriage.

3. It assumes that if you never marry you’ll never have a happy ending.

This belief that marrying is the happy ending of life insinuates that those who never marry can’t have a happy ending.

One of my mom’s best friends is in her 50s and has never married. Does she have no hope for a happy ending if she continues to love her single life and never marry?

Marriage isn’t the only hope for happiness! You can be happy pursuing a career. You can be happy hanging out with your girlfriends. And you can be happy growing as a person and becoming closer to Jesus.

If you are not married, you are not lacking some sort of “happy ending.” You can still have a happy ending for the following reason:

Marriage isn’t the happy ending. Heaven is.

As I said above when you marry you aren’t going to drop dead. (Hopefully! Please don’t die on your wedding day!!) Your wedding day isn’t the last day of your life.

But truthfully, someday you are going to die. And that is when you can find your happy ending.

We are broken people who need fixing. We do wrong things and because of that, we deserve to be punished.

But God doesn’t want us to have to suffer for our wrongs. God sent His Son, Jesus, into the world to save us from the punishment we deserve and to make us whole again. He wants to have a loving relationship with us.

And so Jesus came to earth and lived a perfect life, something no one else has ever done. He died a slow and painful death on a wooden cross, taking the punishment for our wrongdoings upon Himself. That wasn’t the tragic end to His story though. Three days later, Jesus came back to life! He then went back to Heaven and sent the Holy Spirit to earth to dwell inside those who choose to follow Him and accept His sacrifice.

If you choose to follow Jesus, to repent from your wrongdoings, and pursue a relationship with Him, then when you die you will go to Heaven.

There, you will be with Jesus for eternity. The Bible tells us that in Heaven, there will be no more suffering, no more pain, no more sorrow. Forever joy and peace. Now that’s a happy ending. (See Revelation 21.)

But we aren’t to just sit around and wait for Heaven (see 1 Thessalonians 4:13-5:11). Jesus came so that we would have abundant life! (John 10:10) While we wait for Heaven, we can live joyful and hopeful lives here on earth.

Regardless of if we marry or not.

I hope I get married someday. Please don’t let this post give you the wrong idea haha! I’m looking forward to maybe living the rest of my life with someone I love. But I know that if I don’t marry, I still will have my happy ending because of Jesus.

Let’s be Instagram friends! @joybecausegrace

Posted by Kara Beth & filed under Singleness. This post has one comment.